beanie bumper sticker

beanie bumper sticker

Dear Fellow American,

Everyone has been asking me how this transformative presidential campaign got started: is a beanie really running for president??

That's right! A beanie.

A beanie cap like what you would wear on your head to stay warm is running for President of the United States.

And not just any beanie, but my dear friend's beanie that has kept his head warm for many a winter.

To avoid any confusion, we simply refer to it as The Beanie.

No other beanie we know of is running for president. And believe me, we've done the research to back that up.

I know what you're thinking:

Is a beanie qualified to be president?

A whole hell of a lot more qualified than Hillary or Trump! Heh.

But I know what you mean: is it constitutionally allowed? You might be surprised to know that the answer is YES!

(^^^Constitional AF)

Okay, interesting, but how did this get started in the first place?

I'd be happy to tell you, person who asks all the right questions!

Like all good mass marketed products: with careful polling and focus group testing.

I asked a young college student from Nebraska named Amy:

"Between Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and a beanie cap like you wear on your head, who would you rather be president of the United States?"

She said, "I'll take The Beanie."

I asked an African American man named James from Louisiana who works in retail the same question:

"Between Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and a beanie cap, like you wear on your head, who would you rather be president of the United States?"

And he answered, "I'm feeling The Beanie."

I talked to a 70 year old man who immigrated to New York from Ireland in the 1980s, and asked him the same question.

And he said, "I want The Beanie."

Over and over again, across age groups, different races, different professions, blue collar, white collar, man, woman, L, G, B, T, Q, I, A, and P, all the letters, everyone...

I always got the same answer.


All the finance industry-funded, mass media-marketed, military industrial complex-approved, Illuminati-anointed, alien lizard people-sponsored, tax-and-spend liberal, bomb-and-break conservative, establishment as all get out, predictably vanilla as hell, never going to do anything radical, wonderful, or right, or change anything from the way it already is for the better, and definitely not going to make a difference in your life other than to make it slightly worse in some marginal and demoralizing way establishment candidates...


It's time to give The BEANIE a chance!

People would actually, literally rather see a beanie cap sitting in the Oval Office for the next 8 years instead of Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump.

And that's before they've even heard the Beanie's platform.

And I think that says a lot.

-Wes Messamore,
Campaign Manager
Beanie for President 2016

For inquiries, contact me at:

Monday, June 27, 2016

Is a Beanie Cap Constitutionally Eligible to Be President? YES!

The only eligibility requirements for President of the United States are in Article II, Section 1, of the United States Constitution:
From Article. II. Section. 1. of the US Constitution
No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.
No where in the above eligibility requirements does it say that the president has to be a person.

Reread it. It doesn't say that anywhere.

All it says, is that if you are a person, you have to be born in the United States to be eligible for the office, a minimum of thirty-five years old, and have lived in the United States for the last fourteen years.

That's all it says.

Any person who wasn't born in the US, isn't at least thirty-five years old, or hasn't been living here for the last fourteen years can't be president.

All that means is there are extra requirements for people who want to be president, not that only people can be president.

These extra requirements don't apply to non-persons who are duly elected by a majority of electors. You could be a paper clip made yesterday in Canada and there's no restrictions on your eligibility if you are chosen for the office by the electorate.

Now you may say that's just to be assumed that you have to be a person, but we can't go around making assumptions about the Supreme Law of the Land. We have to interpret it as it is written. This is the law, not your opinion.

You can go with the Originalism of some Supreme Court Justices and say that we have to do our best to understand the original intent of the Framers who wrote the Constitution, but if we do that, Hillary Clinton wouldn't be eligible.

The Founding Fathers assumed that only male people would be eligible. It's evident in their grammar:
Article. II.Section. 1.
The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice President, chosen for the same Term, be elected, as follows...
You sexist.

You want to be a sexist? I didn't think so.

Nobody's questioning Hillary Clinton's eligibility on this basis, so don't start using Originalism to block a legitimate candidate that the people want to be the next president of the United States.

If the Beanie gets a massive majority of voters to stand behind taking a break for eight years, it will be undeniably received as a mandate from the people and the Beanie will sit quietly in the Oval Office and allow us some breathing room to improve our lives.

The Beanie absolutely is Constitutionally eligible to be President of the United States, and here's how you can vote for him this November election.

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Write In "Beanie" for President: Here's How...

DID YOU KNOW that the presidency can actually be won by a write-in candidate?

Oh yeah, it's true!

In fact, a total 494 Electoral Votes are in play for a write-in candidate.

To wit, 43 States allow Write In Ballots for President of the United States.

Sorry, Nevada, South Dakota, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Hawaii!

You can still support The Beanie by sharing this page, spreading the message, and buying a t-shirt or bumper sticker to support the cause!

(The Beanie is not currently accepting donations, so as to keep its platform pure and unbeholden to any special interests.)

But hey look, the rest of you can vote for the Beanie by writing his name in at the ballot box this November!

Do it! Really do it!

You're not throwing away your vote.

Come on.

Voting for Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump is throwing away your vote.

This is your chance to do something courageous and different! This is your chance to send a powerful message of no confidence in the same old politics, embodied by the same old politicians, picked for you by the same old television media on the basis of who they choose to talk about most.

If you're in a write-in state, just write in "The Beanie" this November. We can do something real this election.

We can finally put someone in the Oval Office who we know for a fact can't make things any worse!

Beanie for President - On The Issues

You can trust for a 100% fact:

That unlike the other candidates in this race, The Beanie will never sign a bill to raise taxes on the American people. It doesn't even have hands.

The Beanie will never order the military into another protracted, costly, and poorly-planned out war of dubious Constitutional legitimacy.

The Beanie will not continue the runaway increase in Executive Power to set policy without legislative action, consent, and oversight.

The Beanie will not take taxpayer-funded junkets or campaign cash from lobbyists.

The Beanie has never once said anything negative about any group of people on the basis of their race, nationality, gender, religion, or any other such basis.

The Beanie has never imperiled vital US national security interests by using an insecure, private email server for conducting affairs of the state.

The Beanie has never, ever told a lie. Not even once. Not ever. And won't ever tell one in the future.

Unlike everyone who's ever run for high political office, the Beanie is actually, literally incapable of telling a lie or deceiving anyone.

You'll know what you're going to get with the Beanie. You won't have to wonder or be disappointed after you vote for the Beanie.

The Beanie won't alienate anybody or make them feel like less of an American or less of a person somehow. If anything, the Beanie will just keep sombody's head warm.